It’s Friday! And you know what that means: Poetry! Want to know more about Poetry Friday? Click this link right here. And be sure to check out Christie blog, Wondering and Wandering, to see this week’s round up of wonderful poetry related posts, blogs and goodness.
________________________________________
Hello and Happy Poetry Friday! Summer is winding down--my daughter is back in school, and my husband starts teaching again in a couple of weeks. While I love having both kids and my husband home, I am excited for the routine that comes with school.
Christie over at Wondering and Wandering put up a bird-related poem challenge. I have been wanting to try my hand again at a golden shovel poem, so I decided to pick a line from Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven". We're getting closer and closer to October, so I'll take any chance I can get to bring out the spookiness.
Originally, I planned on having my poem be informational. Did you know a group of them is called an "unkindness" or a "conspiracy"? Or that they're the world's largest songbird? Or that they play pranks?
As I started writing the poem, though, it kind of morphed into something completely different. The original poem doesn't tell us what happens to the narrator, so I decided to explore that a bit. It's a first draft, and the nature of the Golden Shovel made consistent meter quite difficult. But it was a blast to futz around with.
The Ravens
after "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe
A conspiracy of passerines perched in the potter’s field-then
startled by my passing by, this
sooty cloak whipped to the sky. Ebony
wings beat through the air, no common bird
were these. Their croaking cries, beguiling
calls, were meant to just deceive. Twas not my
name they squawked that night which stoked sad
embers in my soul. The desire for her return--pure fancy--
so now I go to my Lenore. Perched atop this precipice I gaze into
The black below. I know she waits. Lenore will greet me, smiling.
Don't you love how a golden shovel gives you an unexpected voice - a different eloquence? This is a wonderful first draft.
ReplyDeleteThe world's largest songbird? Huh! I never even really thought of them as "songbirds." Your poem has a terrifically Poe-esque quality, and I love that first line -- "a conspiracy of passerines" really sets the stage.
ReplyDeleteI love the inner rhyme of your poem, Rebecca & you've achieved the darkness of Poe's own poem very well. Yes, October won't be long. And FYI, I shared your wonderful poem to me today. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThe inner rhyme, the perfect voice- such a lovely golden shovel.
ReplyDeleteI love the mood of this and the internal rhyme. How clever of you to pick a line from Poe for this challenge! Well done!
ReplyDeleteRebecca, hooray for the pre-Halloween darkness on Poetry Friday. I just love how you crafted this poem. As I read it for a third time, I picked up the rhythm, internal rhyme, and the narrator's longing.
ReplyDeleteLove Poe and love what you have done here with that one line inspiring a wonderful new poem. Adore: 'stoked sad
ReplyDeleteembers in my soul.'
Wow! I love how your poem echoes and enlarges Poe's original. Even though the two forms have such differences, you've managed to capture the Poe's voice in yours. Impressive.
ReplyDelete